Leadership and Confidence
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At Harpeth Hall, each student develops the confidence to lead in her own way. She is aware of the value of every individual and embraces her responsibility to shape the community for the better. The words "lead confidently" in our mission guide us to create intentional opportunities for development far beyond being captain of a team, the star role in a play, or a club officer. Our faculty nurture our students' leadership in and out of the classroom. At Harpeth Hall, we affirm that every day, every girl is a leader.

Leadership at Harpeth Hall
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Middle School

From learning to lead oneself to learning to lead many, the middle school leadership program is grounded in respect, integrity, individuality, kindness, and trust.

Students sharpen their leadership skills through a variety of experiences including public speaking, classroom debates, participation in SEEK, on the athletic field, on stage, and in interactions with the greater community through our Public Purpose program.

Middle school life balance classes build on this work and are organized by theme:

5th Grade

Learning to Lead Myself

6th Grade

Learning to Lead in a Community

7th Grade

Learning to Lead as a Team

8th Grade

Learning to Lead a Community

Upper School

Every day, girls lead in all areas of upper school life. Harpeth Hall’s leadership program evolves alongside students as they mature and further develop their independence and identity.

Faculty support students as the girls strengthen and hone their unique voice in order to learn effective communication and how to best support and advocate for themselves and others.

Our upper school students serve as role models throughout our community through public speaking, classroom participation, clubs, and organizations and as global advocates through our Public Purpose and Global Scholars programs.

11 Traits of Excellent Leadership at Harpeth Hall

Origin Story of the Harpeth Hall Confidence Committee

Harpeth Hall Faculty Talk about Leadership and Confidence

Confidence at Harpeth Hall
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Harpeth Hall's confidence committee aims to close the confidence gap between females and males, beginning in the school setting. We foster environments that promote healthy risk-taking and celebrate failure. We also educate students to identify inhibitors, both internal and external, that undermine confidence and give them tools to face and work through them. Through this work, we help girls thrive and develop the confidence to take action.

5 Inhibitors to Girls' Confidence

Perfectionism

The Problem

We want students to strive to be great and to be detail-oriented, but perfectionism in these positive traits has gone too far. Perfectionists tend to procrastinate, totally avoid action or risk out of fear that they will not be perfect, but they’re also more likely to suffer from depression, anxiety, and reduced feelings of self-worth.

The Harpeth Hall Approach

We work to help students see that their grades are not indications of their self-worth. Students need to look past the numbers to appreciate not only the new skills that they learn, but also the work ethic and resilience that learning requires.

We push students to look at things in perspective. How would another person approach this task? How would one advise a friend who was facing the same struggle? What are the consequences if this isn’t perfect? Could you manage those consequences? Will it matter tomorrow? Next month? Next year?

We encourage students to be willing to compromise with themselves. One can maintain high standards while still being realistic in their goals. To mitigate perfectionism-induced procrastination, we teach them to create a realistic schedule and take one small step at a time.

Comparison

The Problem

Comparison is an inevitable part of living in community, and can be a helpful way to set goals and improve. But more often, it tears at your confidence or relies on bringing someone else down. Today’s young women not only compare themselves to others they know. Through social media, they also compare themselves to every other beautiful, smart, athletic, and seemingly popular teen in the world. One of our favorite quotations at Harpeth Hall is from President Theodore Roosevelt who said, “comparison is the thief of joy.”

The Harpeth Hall Approach

We help students to see the whole picture and share the whole picture. We create a healthier community when we are more open with our ups and downs, knowing that everyone is fighting her own battle.

We work to instill a grateful and thankful attitude in our students. Such gratitude greatly reduces the urge to compare ourselves to each other. The only person you need to be better than is the person you were yesterday.

We encourage students to avoid comparing performance and grades with one another. One way we do this is by sharing useful phrases with students. A student might say “I did better than last time,” “I didn’t do as well as I wanted,” or simply “I don’t share my grades.”

Fear of Failure

The Problem

We all deal with struggles and failures. A great deal of evidence, however, suggests that girls are especially likely to fear failure. This can lead girls to avoid risk and value image over learning. This aversion to healthy risk-taking can prevent young women from taking action or trying new things. By the time young women go to college, many are more vulnerable to depression, anxiety, and stress.

The Harpeth Hall Approach

We encourage students to see that struggle and failure promote healthy risk-taking and develop the tenacity and perseverance needed to gain confidence. The trajectory of success is not a straight line. There are many twists, turns, and backwards movement.

At Harpeth Hall, we’re rethinking the way we talk to our students about struggle and failure. Rather than focus on the end result, we encourage students to think about what they do well and how they might improve along the way. Rather than praising natural talent, we emphasize the importance of resilience and work ethic.

We’re helping students to see that all learners, their teachers and coaches included, struggle and fail sometimes. If we can desensitize concepts like failure and struggle then our students can learn to take failure in stride rather than seeing it as a reflection of their self worth.

Sensitivity to Criticism

The Problem

This is an issue for everyone - women and men - everyone wants to be liked, and no one finds criticism fun, but what we know from research is that women have a harder time bouncing back from criticism. Why is this the case? For one, often without legal means, political power, or financial means, women survived for centuries on likeability. Second, girls are praised early on for good behavior, following the rules, sitting still. It feels scary when it’s absent or when that feedback is not always positive.

The Harpeth Hall Approach

We emphasize that substantive, complex work should be getting both praise and criticism. Many of us labor under the misconception that good work will be met mostly with praise, but this is simply not the case in the real world. Praise makes us feel good in the short term but it does not build confidence.

As educators, we build in feedback along the way so that girls see the value in criticism and seek it out. We also encourage students to look back at previous feedback and keep that feedback loop alive and well, which will also promote a growth mindset.

We teach students to learn to love feedback. Go after it. Feedback can make a person stronger and tougher and better at what they do in the long run.

Negative Self-Talk

The Problem

Students and adults often use self-doubting language. “I’m probably wrong," you might think. “I have a stupid question," you might say. “I’m just not good at this," you might tell others. By doing this, we feel like it lowers expectations on the front end. The problem with that is that when we speak like this, we are not as believable. Our audience may tune us out or assume that what we are saying is not important even when we have something valuable to say.

The Harpeth Hall Approach

We teach students to notice their inner critic and identify where they’re most negative, be it at home, on the athletic field, in the classroom, or in social environments. Young women need to recognize this voice for what it is: It’s the voice we all internalize based on outside influences, learning, and conditioning.

We tell students about the importance of humor and humility. Laughing at oneself and at what is causing stress or frustration can take away the power of that negative voice that exists in all of our heads.

We encourage students to practice self-care. Exercising, walking, writing in a journal, and meditating can mitigate the worst effects of negative self-talk and improve student mood and attitude.

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Leadership and Confidence
—

Leadership at Harpeth Hall
—

Leadership Development Program

Middle School

5th Grade

Learning to Lead Myself

6th Grade

Learning to Lead in a Community

7th Grade

Learning to Lead as a Team

8th Grade

Learning to Lead a Community

Upper School

Confidence at Harpeth Hall
—

5 Inhibitors to Girls' Confidence

Perfectionism

Perfectionism

The Problem

The Harpeth Hall Approach

Comparison

Comparison

The Problem

The Harpeth Hall Approach

Fear of Failure

Fear of Failure

The Problem

The Harpeth Hall Approach

Sensitivity to Criticism

Sensitivity to Criticism

The Problem

The Harpeth Hall Approach

Negative Self-Talk

Negative Self-Talk

The Problem

The Harpeth Hall Approach

Leadership and Confidence —

Leadership at Harpeth Hall —

Confidence at Harpeth Hall —

Leadership and Confidence
—

Leadership at Harpeth Hall
—

Confidence at Harpeth Hall
—