Bears Repeating from Jess Hill: Responsible Citizenship

We can have courage in our convictions even as we have the humility to listen and learn from others.

— Dr. Kenneth Ruscio, President emeritus of Washington and Lee University

Our theme this school year is responsible citizenship. We want our students to become informed and engaged citizens of their school community, their neighborhood, their faith community, their city, state, and country. We want our girls to lean into intellectual curiosity and learn the facts. We want to develop their skills of analysis before activism. They should be knowledgeable about our political system and government. While holding onto their values, they can remain open to learning from others and consider that someone else may have a valid point or at least a well-reasoned point of view.

As our students learn to become contributing members of a community, they undoubtedly will work within the context of a variety of views and opinions. In these situations, it is tempting for some of our girls — or for some of us — to back away from conflict. So many times, when we hear an opinion that differs from our own, we assign a host of mostly negative assumptions to that person. We jump to concluding that they are the enemy, or certainly they are not one of us. As Sean Blanda writes in an article titled “The Other Side is not Dumb,”: “When someone communicates that they are not ‘on our side’ our first reaction is to run away or dismiss them as stupid.”

Others may be tempted to engage aggressively in disputes. This approach rarely ends well. Instead, at Harpeth Hall we are intentional about teaching our girls to engage in difficult conversations by focusing on the issue at hand – not the person making the argument. We give our students the tools for knowing how to disagree civilly.

As our school’s statement on campus discourse asserts, “the ability to engage in meaningful civic discourse requires a commitment to strengthening our relationships with each other.” Being in dialogue with other students who have differing opinions is not easy. Our girls must first build a foundation by connecting with each other in our classrooms, labs, studios, courts, fields and pods. This foundation is essential in fostering respect.

Mr. Blanda also makes the point that, “We should all respect the other side enough to be informed about the reasons they feel that way.” Seek first to understand. We don’t have to agree, but knowing and understanding the views of the other side will provide a fuller comprehension of the issue. The only antidote to political polarization that I can see is to move closer to understanding the views of people who do not think like we do. A worthy goal is to have the ability to make their arguments for them. 

Probably more important than any persuasive argument we might make is learning to develop the ability to stop and really listen to each other. The act of listening can become a civic act. It helps us tend to the moral convictions of others. After a recent assembly when Samar Ali, founder of Millions of Conversations and co-chair of the Vanderbilt Project on Unity and American Democracy, spoke to our students in late September, we gave our students the opportunity to sign the Pledge to Listen.

As a student at Harpeth Hall, I pledge to listen to others who hold different opinions, views, or beliefs. I will try to understand their reasons and their perspectives and will respectfully express my own in return.

Agreeing all of the time is an impossible goal, but we do have to care about the other person and about doing our part for the best group outcome. Learning, analyzing, connecting, respecting, listening, and understanding are the prerequisites for responsible citizenship 101.